TheRigby
by wregular
Summary: Rigby has to see a therapist after freaking out over a football game gone wrong. It isn't easy, but he finds happiness in an unexpected place.
1. Chapter 1 - First Session

"Rigby."

"Whu?"

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but we have just a few minutes left in our session, and it would be irresponsible of me not to try to help you."

"Look, dude, therapy is lame."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because this sofa is the comfiest thing ever."

"I mean, why did you come in the first place?"

"You know why, dude. My stupid boss said I need to go to counselling, or he's going to fire me."

"OK - why don't you tell me exactly why he's sent you here?"

"It was last week. We'd all just finished work and we were playing football. I hate football but I didn't want to look like a loser. But Muscle Man was being such a jerk. He kept stepping on me. On purpose!"

"Then what happened?"

"What do you think? I kicked him in the junk, but he just pushed me back onto the mud and stood on me again. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get out of there. He let me up, I ran off the field and everyone was laughing at me - even Mordecai and Pops."

"From my notes I see that Mordecai's your best friend, Pops is your boss-"

"Benson's my boss. The angry dude who brought me here, remember? Pops just runs the place. Sorta. It's hard to explain."

"-I see. And Muscle Man is..."

"A total hole."

"Right."

"Anyway. I wanted to speak up and tell them about what Muscle Man was doing, but I was flat on the ground and covered with mud and... they were laughing. They just wouldn't stop to listen. So I went and got the golf cart. And I did donuts all over the field. It was awesome."

"You spoiled their game."

"Dude, they spoiled my life! I'm sick of being laughed at all the time!"

"You said you wanted to speak up about Muscle Man - why didn't you?"

"Aren't you listening? I couldn't even get them to stop laughing. I knew whatever I said they'd just laugh at that even more. Once they get started... I have so much going on in my head but... when I talk I just run out of words."

"Tell me something - how do you normally respond to insults and humiliation like this? If you don't have a golf cart, I mean."

"It happens all the time, man. I deal with it by fighting back. Nobody's going to tell me I'm not an awesome guy."

"You seem pretty confident. That's good."

"Well, I am. I make the chicks laugh. I'm awesome at video games. Kinda. I've not been fired from my job. Kinda. It's totally sweet being me."

"But it upsets you when other people don't see who you really are."

"Yeah!"

"I see this a lot. They say what really matters is how you feel about yourself..."

"I feel awesome. I shouldn't even be here."

"... but that's not all there is. We're social creatures. We like to be recognised and appreciated. Like you said: even Mordecai and Pops were laughing. It sounds like they matter to you?"

"I dunno. Pops laughs at butterflies, man. Forget him. But Mordecai... he's my best friend. Always has been. The one guy I'm supposed to turn to in a jam. Sure, we've helped each other out a lot but..."

"There are tissues just behind your head, by the way."

"Stop talking! I'm not gonna cry!"

"OK. But... you don't think he's looking out for you? Your best friend?"

"I think... I think if he got a better offer he'd leave me in the dust. I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen. But the worst part is, I think I'm a big joke to him. He'd look back at me and just laugh. And that sucks."

"Rigby, I'm sorry, but that's our time up for this week. Let's pick this up again next time."

"Next time?"

"Yes, absolutely. I want to help you some more."

"Ugh. Therapy is so lame."

"You said that already. It's your choice. You don't have to come here. You can quit therapy. Of course, you might lose your job..."

"Man! I'm not saying I'm coming back, but if I did... would it be the same time next week?"

"Yep. Benson's got you paid up for the next few weeks. My door will be open to you at this time. You're very welcome to come in and speak to me."

"Whatever, dude.."

"Until next time, Rigby."


	2. Chapter 2 - Back on the Couch

"Augh! Man, how long until I can leave?"

"We have just a few minutes left for today, Rigby. You're doing well. We've made significant progress on your anger issues and I know Benson feels the same way, so you don't need to worry about your job."

"Dude, I never had anger issues. If you and Benson get that now, fine. Just one more week of this and I can forget all about it."

"Rigby, surely you must feel some benefit from our work."

"Meh."

"That said... I think you'd get more out of it if you opened up more about a couple of things."

"Like what?"

"At the end of our first session we touched on something very important, but we haven't really got into it since: your relationship with Mordecai."

"Hey, woah! Dude, we're not in a relationship. We're pals."

"Of course - I just meant a friendly relationship."

"Then don't say it like that."

"We're getting off the subject here. You said a few weeks ago, you were scared that you were going to lose him-"

"Dude, don't say it like that!"

"-as a friend, Rigby. Do you remember saying that?"

"I say a lot of things, dude. Refresh my memory."

"You were scared that Mordecai was going to abandon you one day. You said he'd leave you in the dust, and that he thinks you're a big joke."

"Aw, man. Do we have to talk about this?"

"I think we should. If you think your best friend is going to drop you one day, this will have a major impact on your life."

"My skull's going to have a big impact on this couch soon, because you're putting me to sleep."

"Rigby. This is important. When you told me this, you sounded upset. I think this could be at the root of a lot of your problems. You said you were pretty sure he was going to abandon you. Why? You said he thinks you're a big joke."

"Augh! Dude, stop it! Fine! Look. If it gets you to stop talking about this, here goes: Mordecai's a smart dude. You know he even went to art college? I didn't even get out of high school! He's sharp and I'm dumb. He's tall and I'm not. If we didn't work together, would he want anything to do with me?"

"Tissues are behind your-"

"I know, behind my head, jeez. But I don't need 'em. I think about this a lot so it doesn't make me sad anymore."

"Anymore?"

"Well, yeah. It used to. But now it doesn't."

"Are you sure? Because you might just be bottling it up. Remember why you're here in the first place. He was laughing at you before you ran away from the football game. It wasn't Muscle Man you were really mad at, was it?"

"It was! At first, anyway. Then..."

"Then what?"

"Then I was mad at Mordecai for laughing, and I knew nothing I could say could make him stop. That's when I started to freak out."

"We're onto something here, Rigby."

"Well, what good is it going to do? I'm scared that my best friend doesn't care about me. That he's better than me. That I'm a joke. La-di-da. I knew that already. Now what?"

"Well, have you tried talking to him about it?"

"We don't talk about that stuff. Not often, anyway. Only if something happens. He doesn't even know Benson's put me in therapy. Anyway, what good would come of it? He'll think I'm insecure. That'll just make me even more of a joke. He'll have something else to make fun of me for."

"From what I remember, you've had your moments of making fun of him, too, Rigby."

"Well, yeah, but that's... We're friends, man! That's what we do! I make fun of him because he can't get that chick he's obsessed with to notice him. He makes fun of me for sucking at everything. It's just what we do."

"Of course it is. Joking around is a key part of friendship. But it can go too far and have an emotional effect on you. I think that's what's happening here, Rigby - and this is just a guess, but did you ever think he might be touchy about his relationship prospects?"

"Oh, whatever. We know when it goes too far. I used to have an embarrassing video tape of him but when I knew it really upset him I broke it in half. We're buds."

"Our time's almost up for this week, Rigby, but I want you to think about this. You say you broke a tape for him. Does he break tapes for you?"

"No offence, but sitting around talking about feelings and breaking video tapes makes me want to puke, so maybe I'll think about it some other time. Later, doc."


	3. Chapter 3 - Someone to Lean On

"Hello? This is Rigbone."

"Hello, Rigby. Thanks for taking my call for our final therapy session. I know you've been busy with work so you can't come in. Did you give any more thought to what we talked about?"

"Yeah. No. A little bit, yeah. Sorta."

"This will be over a lot faster if you turn off the TV and pay attention. Also, take the phone somewhere private."

"Fine. Yes, I thought about it. It was depressing. I made myself sound like a loser. Whining because my best friend makes fun of me? What am I, six years old?"

"That's not how it was. You said you and Mordecai were both fine with joking around. What really troubled you was the idea that he didn't respect you. That he'd abandon you. That you can't talk to him."

"Yeah, well, that's pretty much the truth, isn't it? It's like I said. He's the smart one, the tall one, and I'm the punchline."

"OK, let's not go over old ground. I want to talk about what we can do to fix this for you. You don't feel you can talk to him about this?"

"What, just go up to him and say, 'Hey, Mordecai. I'm going to cry because I think you don't respect me, and you'll forget about me one day. Wanna go and grab a coffee and let me bawl into your feathers?' Are you insane?"

"OK, OK - let's try something else. What do you think you can do about it?"

"What's Benson paying you for? You tell me."

"Ha ha, OK. Rigby, I think you just need someone to open up to. To say the things to that you can't say to other people. Someone who understands you when you can't find the words. Right now you don't have that outlet, and it's causing problems in your life. One friend can't do it all, and that's why you're worried about your friendship with Mordecai. Branch out some. For example, when I have problems, I lean on my girlfriend for support, and she can do the same with me."

"You... lean? OK, doc, listen - I'm cured. Tell Benson to pay you. Go online, write a kickass review of yourself, and put my name on the end. I know what I need to do. Seriously, doc - thanks."

"Rigby, yo-"

"Hello, The Coffee Shop. This is The Manager speaking. How can I help you?"

"Hi, The Manager? This is Rigby. I need to speak with one of your employees. Eileen."

"She's on shift. I'm not paying her to talk on the telephone. I'll have her call you back."

"Look, The Manager, it's an emergency. This won't take long."

"Fine. Hold on."

"Hey, thanks, The Manager."

...

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Eileen! It's Rigby. Hi."

"Rigby! Rigby? Rigby. Rigby!"

"Can you hear me OK? Am I breaking up or something?"

"What? No, we're not breaking up. Hi. Sorry. It's Eileen here. Hi, Rigby. It's Eileen!"

"... Yeah, I know. I called you. Remember?"

"OK, let me start again. Hi, Rigby, it's Eileen. What's up? You need coffee or something? We don't deliver. But I can bring you coffee! You want coffee, right? I can totally sneak out of here. There's an air vent... oh, and a door..."

"No... I need to talk. With you. Can we talk?"

"Of course! But... The Manager. He's watching me. And frowning. Oh, man, I need to get back to work... but I want to talk to you."

"Yeah, me too. I've waited too long for this. And... I'm sorry. Listen, what time do you get off?"

"In around an hour. Rigby, what's going on?"

"I... I don't know. I just know that I really want to hang out with you for a while. Let's go to the park. Actually, no, I hate work. Let's go to the coffee shop."

"I'm already here, Rigby. I've always been here. Come on over. I normally go home right after my shift, but... you sound like you have a lot on your mind."

"Yeah, I do."

"That makes two of us. I'll be waiting."

"Rigby! You made it! Look, I've saved us your usual seat!"

"That means you're in Mordecai's seat."

"Oh! ... oh. Is he coming, too? I can move..."

"No, that's not what I meant. He's not coming. You're fine where you are. Can I get you something?"

"That's not how it works. I get you something. I'm still in uniform. Or... yeah, someone else can bring it. Just sit down, Rigby."

"OK."

"OK. So."

"Yeah, I just wanted to hang out. We never hang out and we probably should."

"See, I thought I was the only one who wanted to hang out. I feel like asking a lot, if you want to hang out, but... it never seems to be the right moment. And I never have the right thing to say. I..."

"... run out of words?"

"Kinda. Not exactly. I have the words, I just can't get them out."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Kinda."

"Was there anything you wanted to talk about? Specifically?"

"No. It's just... good to talk to someone, sometimes. Someone who's listening."

"I'm totally listening! I'm all ears. Not literally. That'd be gross."

"Aw, yeah it would. But yeah. I'm all ears, too. Not literally. Again. Gross."

"Gross."

"Eileen, you know what I hate? Football."

"Man! Tell me about it."

"OK. I will."


End file.
